


Yellow ("Hey! Don't Do It Please!")

by candlemoth



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Bang Chan-centric, Han Jisung | Han & Lee Felix are Siblings, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mentioned Han Jisung | Han, Mentioned Kim Seungmin, References to Depression, Sad Ending, Song: Watashi no Aaru | My R, Songfic, Suicide Attempt, i wrote this in one sitting so it sucks, im sorry lol, kind of, no beta we die like men, referenced tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:13:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24935845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/candlemoth/pseuds/candlemoth
Summary: "Hey!" Chan yells, startling the boy in front of him. "Get of the ledge, please."Or in which, Chan saves as many as he can, but, in the end, he's still alone.
Relationships: Bang Chan & Everyone, Bang Chan & Stray Kids Ensemble, Bang Chan/Everyone, Bang Chan/Stray Kids Ensemble
Comments: 6
Kudos: 83





	Yellow ("Hey! Don't Do It Please!")

“Hey! Don’t do it please!”

The words stop the boy in front of him in his tracks. He turns to look at Chan, a little shocked, gripping the railing.

“Why did you-“ The boy starts, before Chan stops him. “Get off of the railing, please.” He sucks in a little breath as Chan reaches out, gripping his wrist that’s still clutching the railing tightly. He surprizingly lets Chan get him away from danger, and as they sit on the grimy floor, the boy finally starts talking.

“My name’s Hyunjin.” He- Hyunjin says, leaning against Chan’s shoulder. “Chan.” He replies. They stay silent for a beat before Chan speaks again, yet he’s barely whispering and Hyunjin almost misses it. “Why did you come up here?”

Hyunjin closes his eyes. “There was this boy…” He says, as he opens them back up again, looking at his newly found savior. “His name was Seungmin. I loved him.” His head drops, and the last words that leave his lips make his heart hurt. “I really thought that he might be the one, but I guess he didn’t think so.”

He hears Chan let out a dry chuckle. It seems he can’t hide his shocked expression because Chan says, “What’s with that face?” Chan gets up, brushing the dirt off of his yellow jacket, as he continues. “I can’t believe you got here before me for something like this.” Hyunjin thinks he almost sounds angry...?

“Are you upset because you couldn’t have what you wanted, Hyunjin?” The words cut deep, but they’re still right, and Hyunjin curses himself for thinking so stupidly. “You do know that you’re lucky because you’ve never gotten anything stolen from you, right?” Chan clenches his fists.

Hyunjin stares before he too, stands up, flashing a sad smile at Chan before he says, “You’re right. I’m feeling better. Thank you for listening to me.” He approaches Chan to give him a hug before he disappears, not looking behind him.

-

Chan is in the process of taking his shoes off when he sees another boy on the railing. The boy is just sitting on the unsteady metal, looking down, and Chan can’t help himself.

“Hey! Get down from there!”

The boy flinches, but he doesn’t look back. Chan sees his shoulders droop before he swings one leg over the railing, back on the safe side. “Why are you doing this?” Chan asks as he finally looks at him. The boy hesitates for a second before asking, “What’s your name?”

“It’s Chan.”

“I’m Changbin.” He says, leaning back against the unsteady railing. “Why did you stop me?” He says, with a quirk of his brow. Chan is taken aback, to put it simply. “I… don’t know?” Changbin hums at his answer.

“Why did you decide to do that?” It’s Chan’s turn to question now. Changbin smirks and looks at his shoes. “Everyone is the same. They all steal and lie.” Chan can see him clench his teeth. “I just don’t fit in.”

Chan can’t help but gape at the boy from where he’s standing. “Are you serious?” He asks, amazed. “I can’t believe you got here before me for something like this.”

“So you were going to jump too?” Changbin asks, mostly to himself, as he looks at Chan’s ears slowly turning red. Chan lets out a small laugh. “You do know that you still have everyone at home, right?” He sighs. “You know there’s always dinner waiting for you, right?”

Changbin looks at Chan with furrowed brows, trying to find anything to say. “I…” He starts, before changing his mind. He pushes himself away from the railing, eyeing Chan. He curses under his breath.

“I’m hungry.” Changbin says, and disappears, still looking at Chan.

-

It’s like that, for a while. Every day, Chan goes up the the rooftop, and every day, he stops someone from jumping off. He listens to their worries and tries to help as best as he can, and they leave after that.

Yet, he can’t fill this empty hole in his heart.

His mind wanders to the boy with the cat like visuals, the one with the boxy smile, and the one with freckles. Minho, Jisung and Felix, respectfully.

He never forgets their names. It keeps him grounded, he thinks, remembering faces he will probably never see again.

He thinks about the conversation he had with Felix.

_“You’re not going to jump, are you?” He had asked, and Felix’s head had snapped to look at him so harshly, he just thought Felix might’ve died from a broken neck instead of the fall._

_“I… I have a brother,” He had stammered. “He told me he came up here recently, I just wanted to… I wanted to visit…” before he had burst into tears._

_Chan had taken a hold of his arm and lead him to sit down, whispering kind words into his ear as Felix sobbed his brother’s name, a mantra of Jisung, Jisung, Jisung…_

It seems funny when he looks back, how he had talked two brothers from the same family down from taking their own lives, seperately, from the same ledge. He smiles softly to himself.

He just wishes someone would listen to him too.

-

He looks at the setting sun and the shadow of a boy standing on the edge of the rooftop, the wind ruffling his hair and lifting up his yellow sweater slightly. The boy looks no older than nineteen, and it makes Chan’s chest ache. He looks back before Chan even says anything, a dull look on his face.

It scares Chan. He doesn’t think he can talk this one down, and it makes his skin crawl. “Who are you?” the boy asks, with a voice that makes Chan shiver.

“My name is Chan.” He answers, like he always does, softly, trying to coax him with just his voice to step away from the ledge. “Can you tell me yours?”

“It’s Jeongin.” He replies coolly, still staring at Chan with empty eyes. He’s done this countless times, so why does this one seem like it’ll be impossible to convince?

“Jeongin… Can you step away from the ledge?”

“I don’t want to.”

Chan swallows harshly, too afraid to move closer in case Jeongin decides to go through with it after all. “Why?” He asks instead.

“I’m just… so tired.” The younger responds, one hand playing with the hem of his sweater, and Chan can finally see a hint of emotion in his eyes. “I want it to stop.” Chan lets him continue. “I came here because I want to stop hurting. Seems I can’t even die in peace.”

Chan looks at Jeongin’s hands, and how hurt he looks, his bruised knuckles and the dark circles under his eyes make him look much older than he is, and he can sort of understand Jeongin a little.

“You don’t need to die for it to stop hurting.” Chan responds. Jeongin looks at him with a look he can’t decipher. Chan lets out a breath. “I know it’s cliche, but it’s not the answer.”

“I don’t want to go home.” Jeongin mumbles. The wind blows, and when Jeongin’s sweater lifts up just the lightest bit again, he can see purple and blue bruises on his stomach. That explains nicely about the tints of brick red along his sleeves, and the cuts on his hands too.

“I understand that.” Chan replies. “So why are you stopping me?” Jeongin says hastily after him, as if he just wants to end this conversation already.

“I just don’t want to see you die.”

“Then go away.”

“You know that’s not what I meant, Jeongin.”

Jeongin doesn’t answer him after that, instead he looks at the city below.

The thought of failing to save this stranger terrifies Chan, and as a last result, he just says, “Hey,” Jeongin looks at him expectantly. “Please don’t do it.” For once, Chan knows he’s bitten off more than he can chew, and he’s so, so scared that he won’t be able to help this time. The thought of failing makes him shake with fear.

He doesn’t know when he starts crying, but he does, and he can’t stop the tears from escaping. Jeongin almost looks dazed as he stares at Chan. He lets out a small laugh.

“I guess today is just not my day.”

And Jeongin leaves, abandoning Chan in tears behind him.

-

It’s a pretty night out, and Chan is yet again on the roof. There’s no one there, surprizingly. He’s so used to seeing someone else over the edge, that as he takes off his shoes and steps over the railing himself, it almost feels like an out of body experience.

He looks at the sky, it’s gray, polluted by light, and just this once, he wishes he could see the stars.

He drags his hand through his hair, looking at the city lights in the distance.

He’s happy that there’s no one to interfere with his plans. He grips the cool iron bars loosely, a soft smile gracing his face. He takes off his yellow jacket and hangs it over the railing next to him, leaving his note under one of his shoes so that the wind doesn’t blow it away.

He looks behind him one last time, exhaling a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.

He lets go off the railing and lets himself fall, closing his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> okay so i know the original song is about a girl trying to talk /herself/ down from jumping, but i couldn't help myself  
> i wrote the whole thing in one sitting, so it might suck more than usual, forgive me for that lol~  
> my first language is not english, so please correct me if i wrote anything wrong! any criticism is appreciated!  
> please take care of yourselves! i love all of you!


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